Do you tend to have more Maximizer or Satisfier traits?
I used to be a “maximizer” in practically every aspect of my life. What this meant to me is: I wanted to make the very best choice at every decision point. For instance, from deciding what restaurant to eat at, what fitness class to take, how to schedule my day, what person to date, what time I should send that email, what I should eat or even what face wash to buy! You name it, I was maximizing it.
What this mindset trait led to was consistent exhaustion, analysis paralysis, scarcity and ultimately self-doubt. I held onto the belief that there must be one single best decision, and if I didn’t make that decision, I was wasting my time/energy/life (ie. failing at life). It is especially interesting because research demonstrates that maximizers are more likely to be depressed, overly perfectionistic and prone to regret or self-blame.
I finally hit a wall and realized that leaning into my maximizer tendencies was generally not helpful. My meditation practice and other introspection avenues helped me gain insight into my behaviors, thoughts and emotions. I realized I could separate my sense of worth and identity from the outcome of a decision.
I decided I would rather not waste time and energy searching for the best restaurant every single time we ate out because it was distracting me from the present moment and what really mattered. I still consider myself a foodie and someone who values going to good restaurants, but I no longer grasp every decision so tightly.
Leaning into “satisfier” traits means that good enough is enough. Focusing on this trait helps create more loving spaciousness in my relationship with my husband. It has also supported me strengthening self-trust, listening to my intuition and increasing my energy levels.
The good thing is that we all have both maximizer and satisfier traits within us. Which one do you notice driving your primary operating system? Do you see a pattern in your life that you wish to adjust even a little bit? If so, tell me about it! Drop me a note here.