Using the "C" Word

Want to know how to use the "C" word in a powerful and purposeful way this summer? I am talking about communication, yo. 

How often do you find yourself trapped in a communication pickle with a co-worker, family member, partner or even yourself? Typically a communication roadblock occurs because there is a conflict in expressed values, the inability for people to deeply listen or judgments that prevent us from being present and truly holding space for a two-way conversation. Communication has been a hot topic in my life recently, so I want to share some ways I'm practicing the art of communication.

In general, there are four types of communicators:

1. PASSIVE COMMUNICATORS — individuals avoid expressing their opinions or feelings, protecting their rights, and identifying and meeting their needs.
2. AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATORS — individuals express their feelings and opinions and advocate for their needs in a way that violates the rights of others.
3. PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATORS — individuals appear passive on the surface but are really acting out anger in a subtle, indirect or behind-the-scenes way.
4. ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATORS — individuals clearly state their opinions and feelings, and firmly advocate for their rights and needs without violating the rights of others. These individuals value themselves, their time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs and are strong advocates for themselves while being very respectful of the rights of others.

What kind of communicator do you think you are? What kind of communicator do you want to be? What is one tiny action step you can practice today that leads you to the type of communicator you wish to be?

I don't know about you, but I want to be an assertive communicator—a person who deeply knows myself, what I want, what I value and asks for what I need while caring for others. In the past, I've realized I oscillated between being too aggressive with my blunt NYC potty mouth while also expressing myself passively because I was more concerned about how others would feel, based on what I shared. These styles of communication left me feeling small or angry and didn't allow for a balance of being bold yet loving. After doing so much self-development work over the past several years, I am proud to say I am finding my balance and stepping into my assertive shoes. This doesn't mean I do it perfectly every time, but I have reached a point in my life that I respect myself deeply enough to allow my voice, my dreams, my wishes, my thoughts, my body and my soul to be expressed while also respecting the people around me. I honor that my actions and words also affect others. One of the ways I paid attention to the way I was communicating with myself and others was looking carefully at the type of language I used. I observed if my words were full of "I can't" or "I have to." I noticed if my emails or conversations were full of "sorries" or if I tip-toed around questions or comments with a phrase like "I just want to say..." instead of being bold and f*cking saying what I want with clarity and confidence. 

Communication is an essential piece of the self-care puzzle. If we don't know how to listen deeply, and communicate to ourselves, then it makes it even harder to communicate to others. That is why I am super-pumped to announce that my virtual group program Summer of Self-Care is back and better then ever! This 6-week program is dedicated to supporting women knowing who they are, what they want and how to take care of themselves from the inside out so that they can use the "C" word in a powerful and purposeful way.

If you are wondering if this program is for you ask yourself these three questions:

1. Does your mental self-talk affect your confidence and ability to go after what you want? (ie, go on that date, post that picture to Instagram or apply for that new position?)
2. Are you hungry for tools that help you be more intentional about the way you take care of yourself and set your schedule? (ie, create rituals for morning and evening routines)
3. Are you ready to feel your healthiest, most powerful and boldest self this summer? (in mind, body and soul?)

If you answered f*ck YES to all of these questions, then this program is your jam. Applications open Wednesday and there is limited space and already a waitlist! Be the first in the know by signing up here. Early bird pricing ends May 18th and the program officially begins June 12th.

Here are some words from a previous Summer of Self-Care member:

"I signed up for the Summer of Self Care program. I wanted to look into some coaching support to help me with some long-standing personal goals that I haven’t been able to achieve for one reason or another. Wade has helped me break down the reasons why I’ve felt blocked and provided some simple yet powerful tools that I can use to make progress towards my goals. Instead of feeling anxious and frustrated, I find myself relying on new practices - such as meditation - to feel confident and focused about what I want to do, and how to go about doing it. Wade’s program and methodology helps to define the skills I need to not just exist but truly live and thrive. It’s been such a rewarding experience and I would recommend it to anyone who’s ready to make some positive changes in their life." -MR


If you are feeling stuck, at a cross roads or are yearning for more growth this summer click here to discover ways you can make yourself a priority without the shame or guilt. Let your inner summer sunshine glow!