Energize Those Winter Blues

Despite the bright energy of the holidays the days are shorter and the nights are longer.  The winter slumber makes it hard for me to wake up in the morning with lots of energy to jump start the day.  Have you experienced that lately? My body feels sluggish and my mind feels foggy and unmotivated. Spending the past couple of winters in Seattle, a naturally gray and wet place in the winter, I was motivated to find a solution to managing my energy levels.  After some research and self-discovery, I created three staples I practice in my morning routine that give me the boost of energy I crave. Each staple taps into my physical, mental and emotional state—supporting me as a holistic being so I can give more love and energy into the world.

Mind:

I never was a strong believer in UV lamps and didn’t see how I could fit sitting in front of a lamp as part of my busy daily routine, until, last winter.  My energy was painfully low I was willing to try anything to give myself a boost of energy. I purchased a Vitamin D lamp on Amazon and realized sitting in front of the lamp while I meditate is the perfect combination!  I sit on my meditation pillow for 10-25 minutes situated right in front of my lamp. The glow of the light as well as the glow of meditation helps warm my body from the inside out. I leave my pillow with a greater sense of awakening.  If you are into chakras, I feel like my 6th and 7th chakra are tickled. My eyes are wider, brighter and I can see colors and objects in more clarity than I would if I just sleepwalked into my day. If you are not yet a meditator, try practicing your morning stretches or fitness routine in front of the lamp. It will give you that extra boost of energy to get you moving.

Body:

For breakfast, even when I am not super hungry, I jump-start my day with a couple of spoonful’s of homemade chia seed pudding.  Fueling my body with nutritious and delicious chi seeds fills me up with omega 3, antioxidants, fiber, protein and potassium–giving my body energy, nutrients and the gasoline it needs to function smoothly throughout the day. I am obsessed with this chia seed pudding recipe because it is so quick, easy and delicious! I know some people love having chia seeds in their smoothies or in a simple glass of water.  However, for me, I don’t like the slimy texture of drinking my chia water and to be honest I am not always craving a green smoothie. Having chia seed pudding is like having better-tasting non-dairy yogurt. I sometimes will add granola, seeds, fresh or dried fruit to mix up the texture, taste and depth of the meal.  Try it. It’s delicious!

Chia Pudding Recipe

Mix together:

• 4 TBS chia seeds
• 1 cup non dairy milk of choice
• 1 tsp Maple Syrup
• ¼ tsp Vanilla
• Let pudding congeal in the fridge for 10 hours before enjoy it’s deliciousness!

Soul:

Some mornings it is as though my body has arrived but my “beingness” hasn’t shown up yet. That sensation you might feel if you haven’t had your morning cup of joe–where your eyes are slightly closed, and life feels like its on autopilot. Do you know the slumber I am referring to?  In those sluggish instances, instead of getting sucked into the vortex rhythm of the day, I bust on the radio (yes I still have a radio and use it) and dance to whatever song KEXP is playing.  I get my body moving in all sorts of directions (even “un-attractive” moves) to stimulate myself physically and mentally. The music helps to evoke my soulful creative energy that anchors me in the freedom of dance.  I get to feel alive, present and think on my feet. The best part of having a mini dance party, even if its for 20 seconds, is that it gets to spark more energy and joy that I can carry into my day and help spread to others.

Let me know how these energizing winter tips support you. I would love to hear any of your own morning routines to help beat the slumber of winter! Feel free to write them below or send me an email.

How to deal with FOMO

Fear Of Missing Out can hit you hard at anytime thanks to the world of social media.  Our urban networks keep us closely connected, constantly engaged and informed no matter the distance. There are many benefits of social media such as finding lost friends, sharing words of wisdom and staying updated on the latest news. However, social media can also cause a tremendous amount of anxiety that cannot only affect how you interact with the inter-webs, but it can also affect your sense of self. Not anymore. Learn how to turn FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) into MOFO (Mindful Of Future Opportunities)

How many times a day do you find yourself scrolling through Instagram or Facebook to discover what your friends and family are up to? What do you notice about your reaction when you see all of your best friends together while you aren’t there? What jokes are you missing? What invite did you not receive? What traveling experience are you jealous of? FOMO can hit hard and that sense of being left out can cause a degree of anxiety, sadness and frustration. It is completely natural. However, the effects of FOMO can become so powerful that it can leave you feeling lost with a weaker sense of self. Your mind might flow to thoughts of “should I move back” or “should I have gone out”—all questions that judge your previous decisions. What would it feel like to experience social media without letting your emotions get the best of you?

Heck, I know I am guilty of falling into these emotional dips that affect my confidence. The sting of inadequacy lingers and leaves me feeling deflated and lonely. When looking back, I feel silly that I let a picture cause such a strong emotional reaction. That’s why I practice some techniques of how to turn FOMO into MOFO.

Top 3 ways to turn FOMO into MOFO:

1. Connect with yourself before you connect to the cyber world

Make meditating, journaling or pausing to contemplate part of your daily routine. Discover how creating a mindful moment in your day allows you to tap inwards so you can be fully be aware and present. Start the day off by strengthening your own foundation and core before you enter the day to interact with others.

2. Smile

Smile while you scroll through social media. Notice how smiling more creates natural endorphins that help shift you into a good mood and fills your social media moment with joy instead of envy. Don’t zombie out while you read your newsfeed but smile and feel grateful for yourself and the life you have created in this present moment.

3. Silence the noise

Ever notice how your mind starts to wander and create stories the moment you see a photo? This is called your ‘Monkey Mind’. Heighten your awareness and try to catch your mind before it spirals into an exaggerated and false story. Acknowledge you do not know all of the facts, and let your mind be at ease because it is not worth getting yourself upset.

Turn FOMO into a thing of the past by practicing MOFO. Connect to your unique set of values, goals and authentic life by focus your energy and time on what matters most to you.

Want more support? Set up a Discovery Session and explore how you can create a stronger sense of self.

Self-Care in September

Wade a Minute

Welcome to Self-Care September.

This month, I want to welcome you to think about how you are taking care of yourself and prioritizing your own needs.  How exciting!!! (and I am sure pretty scary for some). This month is all about scheduling in YOU time before the list of to-dos fall into place.

Let’s back it up and discuss self-care for a moment. What is it? How do you define it? When I talk about self-care, it’s not about the best face lotions to use to prevent wrinkles or the most amazing detox plan to help you lose 10 lbs. I define self-care as learning how to take care of yourself from the inside out. When you pay attention to what you feed yourself, how you treat yourself, the thoughts you create, the way you move your body and the energy you surround yourself with, you are taking care of yourself as a holistic being. Life gets busy--stress, family, work and societal pressures can take over and throw us off our self-care plan. We sometimes lose the ability to feel grounded in our own skin. Not this month!!!

As September begins, take a mindful moment to explore how you can make yourself a priority in your schedule. It’s not about being selfish, so drop that monkey-mind misconception. Self-care is about giving yourself some TLC and space to breathe in the midst of a busy day—balancing the busy fire energy with some cooling and soothing self-love.

In the midst of coaching clients, teaching pilates classes and running workshops, I consciously create space in my day to make sure I am taking care of myself. I know that if my battery is running on low, then I cannot serve and support others to the best of my ability. For me, it's three simple things: I consciously make space to move my body, have some quiet reflection time and express my creativity in the kitchen. Most days I can’t fit in all three for as long as I want to, but I know that if I don’t take care of myself as a 3-dimensional human, then I feel unbalanced and out of whack.

This month, make a list of your self-care staples. Some ideas could be: eat a healthy breakfast while sitting down, meditate for 5 minutes when I wake up, practice my empowering mantra, buy myself fresh flowers or dance naked when I wake up to get my energy going. Your self-care list can be anything that consciously makes you feel good and supports you taking care of and loving yourself. When you feel healthy, strong, loved and grounded in your own skin, you are then able to give love back to the world.

Pick one item off of your list to practice each day this month. Take a picture or tweet at me so I can help hold you accountable. Tweetable:____________  #selfcaredontcare @WadeBrill

Instagramable: ___________#selfcaredontcare @OneWade

Facebookable: ____________ #selfcaredontcare @Wade Bril Life Coaching If you need more help brainstorming your self-care staples, emailme to set up a free, introductory "Self-Care in September" session. Gracefully enter into the season versus falling into Fall.

How Obama and I are Different

Obama and I are very different. Not because he is black and I am white or that he is male and I am female. Not even because he is the President of the United States and I am a Life Coach. We are different because I eat something different for breakfast each morning and he doesn’t!

If you aren’t aware, Obama eats a bowl of cold cereal and banana every morning, according to the Harvard Business Review. In an effort to narrow down all of the important decisions he makes on a daily basis, he practices “routinizing the routine.”  He would rather spend less mental energy on everyday menial and monotonous tasks to conserve energy for more important decisions.  I get it. However, this is where Obama and my personal philosophy differ.  For me, those everyday tasks add up and affect my overall energy. To wake up each morning and mindlessly eat the same meal and dress the same way would feel as though I was sleep-walking.  I know humans are creatures of habit and that routines and rituals are great, but I come from the school of thought that it is important to mindfully check in with yourself in order to make decisions that best suit you in each and every moment.

When we start to live out of habit, life becomes repetitive and stagnant.  When we stay in the moment to choose what our body craves, what our mind wants and what would feed our soul, we are truly living.  You might be wondering: Wade, we are talking about breakfast here, how can you grow via a simple breakfast decisions? My response is there is growth and opportunity in every moment we breathe!  Being mindful of how you nourish yourself when you first wake up is the spark and starting point for all that you feed yourself for the rest of the day.  I don’t just mean food. I’m talking about entertainment, sights, sounds and textures.  I believe experiencing the same sensations every morning numbs you and prevents your senses and intuition from fully being alive.  I am all for simplifying life.  However, deciding your breakfast and starting your morning gets to be the perfect place to practice mindfully connecting to your inner self.

If you are ready to break the routine and stop eating your cold cereal and banana; try tapping into yourself on a cellular level.  Take a minute to pause, breathe and check in with your body and explore what your taste buds crave.  Be curious as you explore, and just notice what arises in the body and mind.  Maybe your body is telling you it wants oatmeal, eggs, toast, fruit, yogurt or even quinoa for breakfast.  Get as creative as you want and just explore what would be the most nourishing. Heck, create your own out-of-the-box concoction.  Start your morning by creating a healthy and satisfying breakfast that will jump-start your day and awaken your senses so that you can actually make more alive and productive choices.  Turn your mental energy to renewable energy by staying engaged and awake to the world around you and inside of you. When you pay attention to what your body wants, you are energizing it in a more powerful way that can also transform your day.

One Way to Practice Self-Care

Taking care of your self is a full time job, but it doesn’t have to be exhausting or overwhelming. The easiest way to get started is to connect to your personal powerhouse–the nucleus of your being. Just like the nuclei of your cells, your personal powerhouse is responsible for all of the activity and growth of your mind, body and soul. Your thoughts are just one of the pillars that build your powerhouse, one of the elements that make up your overall energy Just as Einstein states, “everything is energy and that is all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want.”  Your thoughts and word choices are a form of energy that you express from your personal powerhouse, which transmits into your physical and material world.

When you feel stressed, victimized, insecure and lonely, it may feel like a natural response to think negative thoughts and want to react quickly. However, instead of beating yourself up and staying in a negative black hole, try practicing and repeating powerful mantras. Take a moment to realize the negative impact of your thoughts and replace those beliefs with words that give you strength, support and power to help hold you up versus tear you down. Practicing these daily mantras creates a mighty energy shift which alters your emotions, body language and the way you take action. Watch the positive vibrations shine into your internal and external world.

When I was going through treatment, there were times when I felt so hopeless and blue. I had a choice: I could continue to feel like a victim or I could rise above it all. I chose the latter. I consciously dove inwards to shift the way I spoke to myself. I wanted only positive energy to help heal my sick body and positive energy to shine through and around me. I created that shift by focusing on my thoughts. I practiced mantras during meditation, any time I felt anxious or when I needed a booster shot of inspiration for my day. Changing my thought pattern helped create the ripple effect of energy I wanted in my life. It helped carry me across the darkness and into light. They can have the same power when you’re tackling the trials and tribulations of your everyday life, and they don’t have to be used only in times when you’re feeling down. Try practicing these mantras or create your own! Notice what starts to shift in your life.

All I can do is be in this moment

I am right where I am supposed to be

I am healthy and safe

Love and light flow through my body

I am whole and complete

I am love and I give love

I am present and calm

I am as fluid as water

My heart is open and full

I am light and free

I am not my fear; my fear is just a voice

My experiences help me grow and gain strength

Loving myself means I can love others

Acknowledging my fears helps me grow

I am my own best friend

I listen full-heartedly

I am a human-being

I am worthy, valuable and have gifts to share

Life Balance Defined

libra scale- life balance

What does it mean to have balance in your life? This word gets thrown around a lot, not only in my writing, but as a trending topic.

Personally, I believe it’s not healthy to live life in extremes. Not all work. Not all play. Not all chocolate. Not all vegetables. Life is about experiencing and growing. Balance is that perfect sweet spot in the middle that doesn’t really exist unless you are paying attention. Just like a Libra scale — you have to pay attention to how many coins you put on each side of the scale for it to level out.

The secret is that you get to define what balance means. You get to learn how many hours of work it takes to be productive, how much physical movement feels good, and how many social events you want to schedule. You get to be in charge of your life and that all happens when you wake up and start paying attention. Shocker, I know, but as humans in our busy and over stimulated world, we forget that we get to create our own definitions. We don’t have to live by the “book” or recreate the perfect photos we see on instagram. We get to take charge in every moment.

When I coach, I see people dip into frustration, self-loathing or failure because they can’t figure out how to create the perfect balance in their life. Have you ever felt that? I know I used to. I remind my clients that they are human and are not supposed to magically get it. You aren’t supposed to come up with the perfect schedule your first time around. It is about trial and error. It is about growing and learning to pay attention. The knowledge you gain from your experiences is balance’s secret sauce. Your definition of balance unfolds when you work your values and priorities into your day, learning from when you over- or under-did it. It is about not judging and criticizing yourself, but supporting yourself in the growth of trying something different next time. Balance gets to be a mindful exercise you can practice each moment of each day. Whether it be food related, scheduling your time or keeping your energy and emotions in check, balance gets to be your area of growth and ownership.

I remember when I lived in New York City, I felt I wasn’t being productive unless I was running around like a mad woman. It wasn’t until I met with a meditation teacher that I realized I get to balance my time and schedule the way I want. What a novel idea! Instead of busting ass to make it to four appointments only to feel worn out and tired from all of the travel and schlep, I would consciously only schedule three. I recognized that adding that fourth appointment would push me over the edge, throwing me off balance. I would be no help to myself or to anyone else.

To this day, I continue to practice that awareness of balance. Whether it be mindfully setting my schedule the night before, being conscious of my veggie and treat intake or making sure I move my body in some way, I constantly check in with myself to find my balance.

For more tips and tricks on how I practice balancing my energy, make sure you sign up for my newsletter this month. Wade a Minute reaches your inbox on June 1.

Emotional Roller Coaster

Oh man, have I been a bit irritable and cranky the last ten days or so. Too often, when shit hits the fan, our initially reaction is too look outward so the blame can be placed and scape-goated. For instance, I initially blamed my crankiness on tax season and my busy schedule. However, I know that shit doesn’t work. When we instinctively place blame on external stimuli, the weight of the problem does not automatically disappear. We might feel better for a hot second, but the real solution still simmers within. Wherever we go in life, we are right there. No matter the problem, external environment or people we are around, we are still the same human that shows up. That means it is important to pause, breathe and look inward to ask ourselves in a curious and gentle manner: “What am I doing to contribute to this unnecessary stress in my life? What am I ignoring, neglecting or absorbing that is contributing to feeling off-balance?” When we create the time and space to look inward, we find all sorts of insights that we could never acknowledge in our external world alone.

To get to the root of the problem, I paused, took a deep breath in and connected to all of the areas I was neglecting. For instance, I realized I was not meditating! For me, meditation is a way of grounding myself so that I can have full awareness in every moment — or at least try to. I recognized that I was not starting my days by grounding myself in my breath. For some it might be like starting your day without your cup of coffee… can you imagine?!?

Not breathing fully contributed to my anxiety. Because I was feeling more anxious, I was eating more sugar. Because I was eating more sugar means I felt more irritable and uncomfortable in my body. Because I felt more irritable and uncomfortable in my body meant I was lashing out at loved ones and creating unnecessary stress in my life on top of my every-day, external environment. Bottom line = not a good scenario.

Pausing to look inward allowed me to see the root of the problem. I re-discovered my meditation pillow and re-acknowledged how vital it is to start my day with intention and full presence. When I can find my breath, I feel more calm, less anxious and am able to think more clearly. Stepping away from my pillow made me appreciate it that much more. The cool part is: I know that I have control in every moment when I can find my breath.

The next time you feel yourself lashing out or feeling off balance: pause, breathe, reflect inward and discover why. Catch yourself if you try to blame your environment first. Try to dig deeper and let your ego go while you explore “why.” Notice how the simple act of taking ownership of your actions makes you that much more fierce, authentic and powerful.

Five Tips on How to Beat Hanger

Have you or a loved one been diagnosed with hanger? Hanger is an infectious, mind- and body-numbing condition that combines the worst of Hunger and Anger.

Diagnosed with Hanger for as long as I can remember, my symptoms commonly include: a burning black hole in the pit of my stomach, pulsating veins, fidgety hands and uncontrolled irritability followed by shallow breathing and a foggy brain. When hanger hits, I turn into a different person. A demon possesses my body and takes control of my limbs. I stop caring about others. I say hurtful comments. My moral compass stops as my mind and body dip into survival mode. My hanger can be so vicious that it ruins special events such as date nights, adventures or celebrations. When my hanger dissipates and my demon vanishes, I am left feeling embarrassed for how immature and irrational I behaved. I recently hit a point in my life where I was tired of letting hanger control me and affect those around me. I decided to take charge of my condition and created these five tips to keep the demon dormant and my life in balance.

Even though hanger is like a virus that will always be beneath the skin, you can practice these five tips to manage symptoms and outbreaks so that you can control hanger and not let it control you.

1. Pack a Snack

Never leave home without a bag of nuts, an apple or a healthy bar. You never know when your hunger will strike, so combat hanger by having a handy snack on hand to keep your blood sugar and mood in balance. You would bring a snack for a toddler to pacify a potential temper tantrum… wouldn’t you? Think of the same self-care act for yourself!

2. Breathe

In case you don’t have an emergency bar in your bag, right before shit hits the fan and you start to notice the symptoms creeping in: connect to your breath. Your breath is the anchor to keep you in the present moment, away from desperate thoughts, sticky emotions or distracting physical sensations.

3. Smile

Fake it until you make it. Even if your irritability is at its peak… smile! Notice how your energy shifts. Smiling releases endorphins which help send positive vibes throughout your body and pull you out of survival mode. When you are not in your fight/flight stage, you are able to control your reactions. Smiling helps to soften not only your reaction, but the reaction and energy of those around you.

4. Let go

Let go of any deep or surface thought or emotion that makes you feel stuck. Let go of your fears that you will not be fed. Let go of your fears of not feeling safe. Let go of your desire to control the situation. When I start to feel a thought surface that doesn’t serve me, I just imagine popping it like a bubble in the sky. Pop!

5. Anchor Yourself

After freeing yourself from current thoughts, emotions and sensations, bring yourself back to the present moment with an anchoring thought. Shift your energy. Try repeating: I am present; I am breathing; I am alive. Any time you start to feel yourself drift to unhelpful thoughts or emotions, bring yourself back to those anchoring thoughts that help you connect to your breath. If these anchoring thoughts don’t work for you, create your own!

Once you start practicing these five tips, your hanger symptoms will soften. Your outbreaks will shorten, and soon enough you will realize that battling hanger was a thing of the past. You will now have control of the hanger virus instead of this brutal and debilitating virus controlling you. It’s time to get your life back and put you in the driver’s seat.

March's "Wade a Minute" Vblog

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Discover how to wind down from a busy day with what I call the Three B's.

Tweetable: "Bust a Move with some kicka** beats" #TakeCharge @wadebrill 

February's "Wade a Minute" Vblog

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Click Here to learn how #BrainDumping can help keep you calm, cool and collected.

Tweetable: "Drop your thoughts off at the ‘pool’" #braindump @wadebrill 

Are you ready for an Energy Shift?

couch

I just launched a one-month workshop geared towards women in their 20’s/30’s who want to strengthen their life skills so they can learn to make choices that empower their life.  My inspiration for this workshop has boiled inside me for the past couple of months.  Back in May, I launched a Tap In female journal group that proved to be inspiring, healing and motivating for participants.  Women loved the forum where they could connect to other like-minded women who shared similar experiences and feelings in life. Watching and personally experiencing this dynamic energized me to create my new workshop.  I am taking the Tap In journal experience to a whole new level where, instead of women just using their journals as a way to explore what is going on in their world, I will be introducing a new dimension to heighten our awareness. We will take our thoughts and feelings and turn them into empowering action. It might feel a bit scary, as change and growth tends to be, however, action is necessary if we want to make every moment conscious and empowering. I love to remind my clients that they are the captain of  their ship. No one else can steer, but YOU.  

Come play with me and other like-minded women who want to consciously own their life with passion, purpose and direction.  Come Heighten Your Awareness and Take Charge of Your Life. Learn how to manage and balance stress, expectations, judgments, dreams, relationships, and your daily levels of energy.

Discover more of what you will learn @ Workshops. #TakeCharge #EnergyShift

Generation X and Y Tap into Modern Life

X:Y screen shot

Article featured on Medium 

Create the Reality You Want

faceshot with sunlight

Check out my blog featured on the Fred Hutch Survivorship Program:

Mindful Moment

mindful in the sun

Stop the multitasking and create the #mindfulmoment

Quick fix to get through mid-week blues without a sugar-booster

Need a mid-week, midday pick-me-up?  Follow this simple, calorie-free tool to tap in to your happy place, feel energized and live life with purpose and ease. How? Simply connect to a happy moment!  It will shift your energy and give you the strength to take charge of your day and week without relying on an extra cup of coffee or candy bar.  To own happy, follow this happiness hack by consciously creating space in your day to pause, breathe, reflect, smile and share.

1. Pause

Pause for a mindful moment in the middle of your day—creating space and time to just BE. Ditch the gadgets so that you can clear the clutter and feel physically and mentally present.

2. Breathe

Connect to your breath and breathe in for a count of 5, then breathe out for a count of 5. Notice how your mind and body slow down and anchor you in the present moment. Repeat this cycle 3 times (or more) to achieve a deeper sense of calm and peace—melting your thoughts and worries away.

3. Reflect

Allow your mind and body to wander to your happy place.  Think of the last time every cell in your body felt alive. What made your heart sing and your soul want to fly?  Visualize that activity, place, person or moment.  Soak it in and connect to the smells, sights, sounds, textures and tastes of your happy moment.  If you notice your mind wandering off course, bring it back to your happy place by returning your attention to your breath.

4. Smile

Smile!  Notice how smiling activates positive vibrations in your body and allows you to physically feel more of what your mind is experiencing.  

Psychology Today explains, when you smile, you are automatically releasing endorphins, serotonin and dopamine into the bloodstream—working to make your mind and body feel good from the inside out. 

5. Share

Share your happy moment with a friend, your journal or social media!  Studies show that when you share your happy moments, you are not only strengthening your positive vibes but creating a ripple affect that helps others feel good too! Express what owning your happiness looks and feels like!  Get creative! Whether it is a picture, quote, song or piece of artwork—share the love.  Notice how expressing your happy moment shifts your energy and gives you enough power and desire to live your day with tenacity.  Allow yourself to feel your inner strength by owning your emotions and celebrating them out loud! Remember, laughter and smiles are contagious, so pass them along.

Bonus Tip: Join the OWN HAPPY on Hump Day Challenge and share your happy moments every Wednesday in May @wetapin @wadebrill #ownhappy. Tap in to those happy moments for some extra endorphins, inspiration and good vibes!

Best friends fade….hair falls out….but you will always be YOU

Blog featured on the Fred Hutch Survivorship Program: Best friends fade….hair falls out….but you will always be YOU

I never fully understood how important and attached I was to my hair—until I lost it.  My hair was my best friend.  It was always with me, kept me warm and safe, and most of all, we shared great memories.  Whether it was extraordinary vacations, delicious dinners, dance parties or just fun day-to-day activities, my hair was by my side.

When it was time to start chemotherapy, I somehow thought my best friend would never leave.  I felt our love could prevent this poison from destroying our friendship.  I told her that I would not shave her off if she promised to not fall out.  In my mind, we created the perfect pact, and I somehow felt more confident starting chemo because I knew we could rely on one another.  I took especially good care of her.  I even washed her less frequently so that her roots would hold on tight and not feel the harsh water pressure beat down on her fragile self.

After the second round of chemo, I felt betrayed.  I was in the shower, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a huge, dark clump of her lying peacefully on the shower tiles.  My eyes widened with disbelief as I held her in my wet, shriveled hand.  The sense of betrayal was nauseating—I felt as if a knife dug into my heart.  The sad thing is, deep down I knew I could not blame her.  I knew this was coming but somehow felt our love for one another could overcome the effects of chemo.

Our relationship started to spiral downhill.  Tensions were high, and we did not know how to relate to one another anymore.  She was falling out more and more as I entered the halfway mark of my chemotherapy.  I became self-conscious and embarrassed of her.  She could not control it, I know, but she started shedding everywhere—on my pillow, on my clothes.  I would even walk into clumps of her camouflaged on the floor.  She crept and clung to my skin, creating the sensation of bugs crawling on me.  I grew more anxious as her obnoxious ways interfered with my social life.  She was yelling for attention by falling out in chunks when I moved my hair to the side, when I ran my fingers through her or even more embarrassing: if she got caught on a button or zipper.

I hit my breaking point. My other half, my best friend, a piece of me that created a part of my identity had disappeared, and I felt I disappeared with her.  I felt as though people could not know the real me without her.  The question: “Who am I?”, swirled in my head.  How was I supposed to hold onto my mental and physical self while the chemo was destroying me?

This inability to control what was happening challenged my ego to a point of no return.  Staring into a mirror, I no longer saw the confident, sexy, sophisticated, funny girl I knew and loved.  Instead, I saw a sad, yellow-skinned, balding girl who looked lost and lonely.  In order to keep going, I dug deep inside of myself and discovered a thread of confidence and the strength to keep going even though I did not have my partner in crime. 

About 3/4 the way through my chemo, many friends and family friends offered advice: “Why don’t you just shave your head and embrace it?” That word SHAVE brought chills to my spine. SHAVE? If I shaved my head then I truly would be bald, and that meant looking like a ‘real’ cancer patient.  At this point, my hair really did look pathetic.  I would not have been able to admit it then, but looking in our scrapbook made me realize how sad we looked together.  Holding onto this pathetic excuse of a ponytail was, in my mind, my way of holding onto my femininity, sexuality and control.  It was my way of not allowing myself to feel or really look sick.  The fear of looking and being sick haunted me and swung over my head like a dark, gloomy cloud.

I managed to make it through chemotherapy without shaving her.  I let her grow back naturally and gave her shape-up trims where I could.  However, our relationship was different this time around.  I realized I did not rely on her to give me a sense of identity and confidence anymore.  Hitting a point in my life where I felt lost, mangled and confused allowed me to do some intense soul searching. I no longer felt the need to hang on to external values.  Instead, I was able to tap in on a deeper level and find my new best friend—my inner self.

Completing chemotherapy taught me much more than I ever could have imagined. I realized that, in the end, all we truly can control are our own thoughts, emotions and actions.  Losing my hair was something I couldn’t control.  Having yellowish skin due to chemo was something I couldn’t control.  I could allow myself to spiral into a depression and hold onto anger and a sense of betrayal or I could consciously choose to feel and think something different.  Instead of letting the external world influence my identity and confidence, I turned inwards for strength.  I connected to my inner self, soul and the values that I consciously live by.  I knew I was lucky to be breathing, so I simply chose to be grateful and find the beauty and light in every situation.  Allowing myself to focus on the positive in life granted me a sense of freedom and space to explore my identity.

When you feel like life is out of control, tap in and find your inner best friend. Your beautiful energy can always shine no matter what tribulations surround you.  Discover your values and live them each day so you can connect to your true essence, which will never fall out or fade away. 

Sniffling in Seattle

I am suffering from serious allergies here in the Pacific Northwest.  My entire face feels like it is vacuum-sealed shut, preventing me from fully breathing. Anyone who has ever suffered from allergies knows how uncomfortable it is to breathe out of your mouth constantly while tied to a tissue box.  I have lost all sense of taste and smell, replaced by a cloudy sense of vision and hearing.  Due to my physically-uncomfortable state, I have been irritable, unmotivated, and unable to stay present.  After two weeks, I finally hit a wall.

The frustration in my body and mind inspired me to do some journaling—to dig to the bottom of my true emotions.  An aha moment arose when I realized I wasn’t feeling like myself because I wasn’t truly breathing.  Not breathing deeply made my body feel more tight and anxious.  Sensing this constant agitation prevented me from being present in the moment and living with ease.  It also made my hands and taste buds want to persistently snack and eat because I couldn’t taste anything to feel satisfied!  Constantly snacking made me feel out of balance.  Feeling out of balance averted me from consciously being able to express myself—creating a vicious cycle—until I took the time and space to pause, breathe (in this case sniffle), reflect on my thoughts and emotions and then release.  I was mindfully able to let go of this frustration and allow my mind and body to defog.

I am inspired to share this mini story with you because I find this to be a perfect example of how important our breath is.  When you are not fully breathing you are not fully living. Breath is our life force.  It gives our cells oxygen, providing our body energy to keep moving forward.  When you aren’t breathing, you don’t have energy to feed and fuel the strength of your body.  When you don’t feel strong, it is hard to feel present and in tune to your brilliance.  When we can’t connect to our brilliance, we are not able to see the opportunities and possibilities of life.  Therefore, I encourage you to breathe deeply. Constantly come back to your breath.  Find your life force and consciously live from it.  Allow your breath to recharge you and keep you centered, focused and on your brilliant path.  Know that your breath is your friend and is there to help you live a healthier and happier life.

8 Simple Steps to Master Mindful Snacking

I remember my mom asking me a very wise question when I was about 10 years old.  I had asked her for a snack before bedtime and she curiously responded: “What part of you is hungry? Are your eyes hungry? Are your hands hungry? Are your taste buds hungry? Are you thirsty? Or is your belly actually hungry?”

I remember having an Oprah, “Aha moment.”  It struck me that the sensation I was experiencing before bedtime might not be true hunger.  I took a moment to pause and replied: “My taste buds are hungry.”  My mom asked if I still wanted a snack since I wasn’t “truly hungry” and I indeed did, so she cut me up a juicy orange.

Since that evening, I pay attention to my inner dialogue because I realize I snack when I am not truly hungry.  Today, I ask myself: “Ok, am I actually hungry?  Or am I just trying to satisfy some other part of me?”  Sometimes, asking myself this question, I realize that only my eyes are hungry because something looks so good.  Other times, I realize my hands are hungry because I am feeling bored.  And sometimes I realize I am indeed hungry!  Usually, I listen to my voice of reason and snack mindfully.  Other times, I ignore my body and overindulge.   Snack or no snack, I check back in with myself to evaluate how I feel and grow more conscious of how my body reacts.

Learning to listen to yourself is a skill that takes time.  Learning to understand and obey what your body needs is a talent.  I am constantly working on both. The simple intention to understand what is going on in your mind and body is foundational.  Working this mindfulness muscle strengthens your connection to your feelings and thoughts.  This way, when you are snacking, potential feelings of guilt dissipate because you are conscious of where that urge is coming from and how to appropriately satisfy the craving.  You will eventually grow so strong that you will be fully present with each bite, chew and swallow—able to identify which part of your body you are actually feeding.  Until then, treat yourself with love and kindness while you learn to pay attention to your mind, body and how you feed it.

Follow these simple 8 steps to master mindful snacking:

1.     Pause and connect to your breath

2.     Ask yourself: “What part of me is truly hungry?”

3.     Make your snacking decision based on what your body truly desires

4.     Check back in with yourself to understand how your decision made you feel

5.     Make non-judgmental observations

6.     Breathe

7.     Let go and carry on with the rest of your day

8.     Send yourself love and kindness

Naked Brilliance

Helmut Newton's "Celia, Miami, 1991"

I love walking around my house naked.  There is nothing more comforting to me then being in my own skin, in my own apartment.  Growing up in a predominately naked household, I learned how to wear my birthday suit at a young age.  Since I can remember, my siblings and I were set free to play in our backyard naked.  This commitment to being free and comfortable deepened as I got older.  Both of my parents taught me that the naked body is a gorgeous and remarkable work of art and we should never be afraid to be who we are and love our own skin.  My friends and I joked that they weren’t truly my friend until they saw my mom naked.

I never realized how lucky I was to learn these lessons at such a young age until meeting many other women who have a hard time being in their own skin, let alone naked.  I first recognized this sense of embarrassment in high school when changing in front of my girlfriends. While in college, I realized, I was one of the only roommates who enjoyed being naked around the house.  I was shocked to discover how nakedness made others feel uncomfortable.

Cultivating a comfortable, naked environment is liberating.  It allows you to feel fully connected to who you are by being able to see and feel your entire body.  When we wear clothes all of the time, we create a slight barrier.  When I am naked, I am mindful of how I feel in both my body and mind, thus allowing me to be present with my authentic self.  I am able to listen to my mind and release any judgments that try to creep in.  Getting to know my body on a deeper level increases my confidence, strength and even makes me feel a bit sexier!

I encourage you to spend some more time being naked in the comfort of your own home.  Whether this be sleeping naked, dancing naked, making your morning coffee naked, or writing emails naked. Ditch the clothes and show some skin! After spending some quality time with your naked personality, you will appreciate how good it feels to love your skin and be who you are.  Allow any judgments or negative thoughts to disappear and just be with your beautiful skin.  Notice how your true brilliance shines!

Create Food, Warmth, and Smiles... All Year Long!

Another holiday season has come and gone. The time of year when people pause their work life to spend a little more time with their family and friends--cultivating a sense of community and warmth.  I know the holiday season may be daunting to some; however, for me, it is a special time for all of my favorite things: family, friends, food and fitness.  Simply because the holidays are over does not mean the party has to end. My recent trip to the Palm Beach Wine and Food Festival reminded me of just that.  It was an extraordinary, five-day festival that tickled all of my senses.  My sister, Sweet Loren, brought me to this event as her assistant.  As a foodie, a lover of people, and an avid beach walker, I was in heaven!  Every morning, I took a walk on the beach and spent some time meditating in the sun.  The days became more decadent when we ventured off to 3 course lunches and dinners--tasting delicious food created by some of the best chefs in America.  Francios Payard prepared my favorite meal of the week.  The lunch started off with a fresh crab salad, followed by a mouth watering miso-glazed Chilean sea bass, followed by a decadent stuffed quail, and finished with a mind-blowing hazelnut candy bar dessert.  Tasting these flavors and experiencing the rhythm of the meal with strangers was so inspirational for my soul.  Eating such beautiful food in a communal setting created an atmosphere of warmth, smiles and mindfulness.  I watched myself and others let down their barriers, share their stories and fill their bodies with love as we all ate, tasted and savored each bite.

I walked away from this dream-like week with a deeper sense of gratitude and appreciation for the human spirit-- understanding we are all humans who strive to connect to one another and grow from our experiences.  I was reminded that a delicious meal can act as a vehicle for cultivating meaningful relationships.  So just because the holidays are over does not mean we should stop putting intention and love into the meals we create and the people we share them with.  Instead, it should inspire us to deepen our relationships and put more effort into what we are doing and whom we are doing them with.  Allowing ourselves to still take pleasure in celebrating each day, each other, and what we feed ourselves. Allow the nourishment and warmth of the holidays to continue throughout the year.  Create special memories and moments with strangers and loved ones.  Witness how sharing meals open up doors of generosity, laughs, support and love.